I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
