You can't motorboat a personality
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
