problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize