I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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