we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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