You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
