were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
