If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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