Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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