i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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