can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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