wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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