We're facebook friends in real life
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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