chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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