before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
