I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
