maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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