You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
