I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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