its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
