I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
