wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
