I heard we made out
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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