that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
