There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize