11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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