marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
