You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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