I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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