she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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