I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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