Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
