I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
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I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize