I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
