I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize