how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
