Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
