The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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