Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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