she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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