pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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