Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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