if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
