So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
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Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
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Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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