So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
