I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize