this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
