I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
is it fun? or sober?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
