I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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