If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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