i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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