My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
oh god was she eating orange peels again
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
