She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
