i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
