Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Sorry my hands just texted you
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
