I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
